By E.Z. Pickens
 

April 1, 2010 (Santee) – The San Diego Chargers have received an offer from the City of Santee to construct a new Chargers stadium in the East County community.
 

“This will be a win-win for the Chargers and East County,” said Santee Mayor Randy Voepel, wearing a sporty bolts blazer. With the upcoming completion of Highway 52, Santee will be easily accessible from all parts of San Diego. Having an NFL team in Santee will not only be good for Charger fans, but will also boost revenues for our city.”

By Art Rich and Jack Pott

April 1, 2010 (El Cajon) -- Faced with a growing budget gap and boarded up storefronts downtown as a result of the recession, the City of El Cajon announced today that it has sold naming rights to City Hall, Main Street, and the East County Performing Arts Center.
 

“We saw a market opportunity to let these generous corporate partners buy influence AND boost their public images—all perfectly legally,” said Mayor Mark Lewis.

By Biz. E. Bee

April 1, 2010 (La Mesa) -- In these days with everyone looking for bargains, cutting out discount offers from local newspapers, and printing out on-line coupons, the La Mesa Chamber refuses to be outdone. The organization is offering a unique two-for-one offer unheard of in the hemisphere - two of its CEO, Mary England to do the job of the past “one” Mary England. That's right - two of Mary England instead of one.

The Chamber is in negotiations right now to clone England at a laboratory in Northern California. The location of this cloning procedure cannot be revealed as not to draw attention to this process that is not embraced by everyone.