By Otto B. Happenin
April 1,2014 (Ocotillo) – A federal judge has ordered the Ocotillo Wind Energy Facility to be decommissioned, finding that the project has failed to produce even half of the power promised by its developer, who pocketed huge federal subsidies. Much to the delight of environmentalists, tribes, and the long-suffering people of Ocotillo, Judge Roland Rock declared, “This is a wind project without wind, plus it's been an ecological nightmare. It’s time to tear it down. Let’s roll!”
He further ordered Pattern Energy to fund reparations for removing turbines, restoring natural desert habitat and creating enhanced recreational opportunities for Ocotillo residents. This will include the Ocotillo Wind River Oasis, a water slide park constructed out of recycled wind turbines. The oasis will also include a golf course, poolside bar, wildlife preserve and live simulcasts of off-road racing events at a new off-site race track. Hot air balloon rides, wafting on the very gentlest of breezes here, will provide tourists with birds-eye views of desert wildlife. (Click read more below for full story)
The judge also ordered that Native American remains be restored to ancient burial grounds and ceremonial sites shall be forever protected from further encroachment. Desert wildflowers will be replanted across the 12,500 site to halt dust storms and prevent erosion.
As a finishing touch, at the former wind project entrance, a special “Monument to Folly” will be erected as an eternal reminder of what not to do on our public lands. Artists are invited to submit their monument designs for a special design competition. The winner will have the privilege of throwing the switch to commence demolition of the ill-fated wind turbine project.
Decommission Ocotillo Wind Now (DOWN) coalition members heralded their success, pledging a victory party in the soon-to-be constructed Oasis Bar & Grill.
Happy April Fool’s Day! Read more April 1, 2014 “breaking news” stories by clicking here.