April 1, 2022 Special Edition

April 1, 2022 Special Edition

LEMON GROVE RESIDENTS REVEAL PLANS FOR CITRUS FEST

By Sunny Day

April 1, 2022 (Lemon Grove) – Today, a group of Lemon Grove citizens held a press conference in front of the city’s landmark lemon to reveal preliminary plans for a Citrus Festival to fund reopening the community’s recreation center.  Here are the juicy details.

“We anticipate sweet success from our Citrus Festival,” said festival organizer Flora Bloom, crowned by a citrus-studded cap. She then listed ideas harvested from community suggestions in meetings and on social media.


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NEW RIDE SHARING SERVICE FOR EAST COUNTY ANNOUNCED

By E.Z. Ryder

April 1, 2022 (San Diego’s East County) – First came Uber and Lyft,  Now, Hump, a new ride sharing option featuring camels, has been introduced as an option for East County commuters.

“With gas prices soaring and much of East County lacking access to mass transit, this provides an economical alternative to carry rural commuters from their homes to transit stations, colleges, and other major destinations,” says Supervisor Joel Anderson, who took an inaugural ride this morning along with Nathan Fletcher, Chairman of the San Diego County Board of Supervisors.

“Camels provide a sustainable form of transportation,” Supervisor Fletcher says. “Each camel can travel up to 30 miles per day, and can traverse up to 100 miles without needing any fossil fuels or even water, since their humps store around 80 pounds of fat.”


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STRANGE VISITORS

By Matthew Manosh

April 1, 2022 (Borrego Springs) -- Early this morning, at about 1:15 a.m. residents in the sleepy town of Borrego Springs were awakened when a strange sound emitted from the sky. The sound was hard in a five-mile radius from the town. Some of the townsfolks stepped outside hoping for an answer to their disturbed sleep.

Witnesses describe the source of the sound as a strange metal disc with an indent in the center, almost looking like a CD. Others describe it as something out of a science fiction film from the ‘80s. It hovered above the town before zooming out further into the desert. It was gone in an instant, leaving no trace.

During this encounter the residents found that their cellphones, cameras, and other electronic devices around their houses did not work. When the UFO darted out into the desert, the devices started working once again.


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