April Fools Day

COTTONWOOD SITE TO BECOME METAMORPHOSIS CENTER FOR HOMELESS, INSTEAD OF SAND MINE



April Fools!

By Hope Rising

April 1,2025 (Rancho San Diego) – Today, the County of San Diego made a surprising announcement it has acquired the former Cottonwood Golf Course site in Rancho San Diego from the developer who planned a sand mining operation on the site.


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SPECIAL EDITION: BREAKING NEWS APRIL 1, 2024

East County Magazine has the exclusive scoop on some surprising major stories breaking today.

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Click any title  to view a description of each, then click "read more" to view the full story.

Or click here to read the complete April 1, 2024 special edition.

Trust us, you won't want to miss this news!


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COUNTY LIMITS VACATION RENTALS IN JULIAN, APPROVES HIGHRISE HOTEL TO MAINTAIN TAX BASE

By  Forrest Castle

April 1, 2024 (Julian, CA) – The San Diego County Supervisors today voted to restrict Air BnB and other vacation rental homes in East County’s historic mountain community, following concerns raised by Julian residents over noise, fire and safety concerns at short-term rental properties.

To make up for transient occupancy taxes that the county will lose by eliminating individual vacation rental homes high-fire risk areas, Supervisors also approved plans for a new high-rise hotel on the hills above Julian, a historic gold-mining town.

“The new hotel will be made of faux logs in keeping with community’s pioneering character,” states a staff report written by Seymour Views. “It will combine the rustic charm of stacked log cabins with the picturesque appeal of Swiss chalets nestled on a mountainside amid stands of evergreen trees.”


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CAJON ZONE AMUSEMENT CENTER TO REPLACE WALMART AT PARKWAY PLAZA

 

By Joy Player

April 1, 2024 (El Cajon)—Parkway Plaza shopping mall  today announced that the vacant former Walmart store will be converted to a massive indoor recreational center to be called “Cajon Zone.”

The facility, to be expanded vertically, will be a four-story haven for children and the young at heart. It will include an indoor water park complete with spiraling slides and inner tube floats, elevated skywalk and jogging track, fitness center, ice skating and NFL-sized hockey rink, rock-climbing walls, roller skating rink, roller derby track and more.

“El Cajon has many under-served communities that can benefit from this multi-sport facility,” said Max Bucks, CEO of Cajon Zone. “There’s something for everyone here.”


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MIRACLE OF THE FISHES

By Ben Anglin

April 1, 2024 (Alpine) – More than a year after extreme draining killed all the fish in Loveland Reservoir, California Fish & Wildlife authorities confirm that schools of  fish are once again populating the reservoir.

This phenomena has occurred despite Sweetwater Water Authority’s refusal to invest in restocking the lake,  and despite federal and state wildlife authorities opposition to restocking with nonnative fish that previously inhabited the lake.  This has led to speculation as to how the fish have repopulated.

“It’s a miracle!” declared  Father Jesús Milagro, comparing the resurrection of bass, carp and bluegill at Loveland to the miraculous fish catches described in the Gospel of Luke.

Others have alternative ideas.


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GRANT TO UPGARDE STORM DRAINS BRINGS CANALS TO LEMON GROVE

By Bella Limone

April 1, 2024 (Lemon Grove) – The City of Lemon Grove today announced a grant to upgrade the city’s storm drain system and beautiful the city’s main thoroughfares with a system of canals.

A new filtration system will recycle rainwater and irrigation run-off to replenish water in canals lost to evaporation.


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EX-POLITICOS UNITE TO FORM FOUNDATION

By Ben Badd

April 1, 2023 (San Diego) – A quartet of former elected officials who left office amid scandals held a press conference today to announce formation of their new “Reboot & Rehab” foundation for recovering politicians. The organization was founded by former Congressmen Duncan D. Hunter and Randy “Duke” Cunningham, who both left office after being convicted on criminal charges, in partnership with ex-Mayor Bob Filner and Supervisor Nathan Fletcher, who both faced sex scandals that drove them from office.

“We believe everyone deserves a second chance, including politicians,” said Fletcher, speaking remotely from an undisclosed rehab facility after announcing his resignation following a lawsuit filed by an MTS employee alleging sexual misconduct. “There are programs to help recovering drug addicts and prisoners with reentry, but no programs tailored specifically to the needs of recovering former officials.”


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LOVELAND RESERVOIR TO BECOME RECREATIONAL PARADISE – THANKS TO POWERBALL WINNER

By Willie Prosper

April 1, 2023 (Alpine) – Loveland Reservoir in Alpine will be restored and transformed into a recreational paradise – thanks to a deal hammered out between Sweetwater Water Authority and the winner of California’s billion-dollar Super-Lotto, Russell Walsh. 

Walsh had been the district’s most vocal critic, faulting Sweetwater for draining the reservoir down to dead pool status. Besides killing off fish, the extreme draining preceded destruction of a fishing dock and erosion so severe that the district shut down all recreational access since January.


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HARMONY COMES TO LEMON GROVE

 

By Holly Wood

April 1, 2023 (Lemon Grove) – A new reality show called “Harmony” has announced plans to feature Lemon Grove’s City Councilmembers in its debut episode.

Producer Kanya Diggit said, “The concept of our show is to take dysfunctional groups and take them to a deserted island to vie for prizes.  Unlike “Survivor” and other shows, ours will be based not on competitors vying against each other, but on rewarding them for working together under extreme circumstances to achieve key goals.”


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LEMON GROVE RESIDENTS REVEAL PLANS FOR CITRUS FEST

By Sunny Day

April 1, 2022 (Lemon Grove) – Today, a group of Lemon Grove citizens held a press conference in front of the city’s landmark lemon to reveal preliminary plans for a Citrus Festival to fund reopening the community’s recreation center.  Here are the juicy details.

“We anticipate sweet success from our Citrus Festival,” said festival organizer Flora Bloom, crowned by a citrus-studded cap. She then listed ideas harvested from community suggestions in meetings and on social media.


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