April Fools Day

VIDEO ADVENTURES IN EAST COUNTY: DISCOVERING THE LOST CITY OF EL CAPITAN

 

By Billy Ortiz
 

April 1, 2011 (Lakeside) – Back on December 27, ECM reported on my fall during a rockslide on El Capitan Mountain in Lakeside, when a 500-pound boulder dislodged and rolled over my leg. Thankfully I’ve recovered.

 

What hasn’t been reported until now, however, is the amazing discovery that resulted. I recently returned and found a hidden tunnel revealed behind that boulder, leading deep within the mountain. Inside, I discovered a vast underground lake. Even more astoundingly, after exploring it via kayak, I found the ruins of an entire lost civilization!

PAY FOR PLAY: ACCESS TO LAKE MURRAY WILL NO LONGER BE FREE

 

By Nancy Clement, La Mesa writer and Lake Murray Aficionado

 

April 1, 2011 (La Mesa) - Barbara (Cleves) Anderson, the honorary Mayor of Lake Murray, just announced that she met with the San Diego City Council--and big changes will be happening at Lake Murray beginning June 1st. Water skiing will be allowed at the west side of the lake near the ball fields and second, there will a fee charged for being at the lake.

These recommendations were based on a feasibility study conducted by SCAMDAG.

RUNNING IN GRANDFATHER’S SHADOW

 

Jamul Soccer Player Destined for Greatness

 

Story and photo by Ron Logan

 

April 1, 2011 (Jamul) – If you were a die-hard indoor soccer fan in the early 1990s you may remember the name Herb Duryea. His story was quite an amazing one and it created quite a buzz back in the day. 

 

 Now, his legend lives on--at an ostrich farm in Jamul.

WILL POWER REPORT: OBAMA ORDERS MASSIVE FINANCIAL RESTRUCTURING

 

Nothing but the truth!

 

By Will Power

 

April 1, 2011 (Washington D.C.) -- In an unprecedented turnabout, President Barack Obama announced he is confiscating the excess profits of banks and brokers who profited from the recent Wall Street Crash. All the bonuses paid out will be seized and used to pay down the national debt.

 

Even more important, President Obama ordered oil companies and pharmaceutical companies to lower their prices by 25% , or face nationalization. The third important change was a halt to all home foreclosures, Homes which are in danger of foreclosure are ordered into arbitration and refinancing.

NEWFLASH! MAJOR BREAKING STORIES—SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR ALL READERS

 

April 1, 2010—East County Magazine had the exclusive scoop on some astounding major stories breaking today.

 

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Be sure to click this hot link to view these stories and oodles more in our extra-special April 1st edition. (Trust us, you won't want to miss this!)

SANTEE DANGLES BAIT, LURES CHARGERS TO EAST COUNTY

 

By E.Z. Pickens
 

April 1, 2010 (Santee) – The San Diego Chargers have received an offer from the City of Santee to construct a new Chargers stadium in the East County community.
 

“This will be a win-win for the Chargers and East County,” said Santee Mayor Randy Voepel, wearing a sporty bolts blazer. With the upcoming completion of Highway 52, Santee will be easily accessible from all parts of San Diego. Having an NFL team in Santee will not only be good for Charger fans, but will also boost revenues for our city.”

SDSU TO ELIMINATE CALIFORNIA STUDENTS

By Skip Tover Grad

April 1, 2010 (San Diego) – After realizing significant savings by eliminating local student admission guarantees, San Diego State University (SDSU) President Stephen Weber has announced a bold new initiative to save taxpayers even more money.
 

“We have decided to eliminate California students altogether,” Weber said. “With the budget crisis, we regret that we just can’t afford to provide an education for kids in our own community or home state."

PADRES SIGN CHULA VISTA SLUGGING AND PITCHING STAR

 

By Ima Fann

April 1, 2010 (San Diego) – The San Diego Padres today announced that they have signed Luke Ramirez, 13, ace pitcher and batting champion from the Park View Little League World Series winning team in Chula Vista.
 

The move is expected to boost attendance for the Padres, given the enormous popularity of the Chula Vista world champs, while also adding some muscle to the lineup and the pitcher’s mound.

EL CAJON ANNOUNCES SOLUTION TO BUDGET CRISIS

By Art Rich and Jack Pott

April 1, 2010 (El Cajon) -- Faced with a growing budget gap and boarded up storefronts downtown as a result of the recession, the City of El Cajon announced today that it has sold naming rights to City Hall, Main Street, and the East County Performing Arts Center.
 

“We saw a market opportunity to let these generous corporate partners buy influence AND boost their public images—all perfectly legally,” said Mayor Mark Lewis.

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