By Miss Perceptions

April 1, 2018 (Lemon Grove) – Following a barrage of negative news stories and claims of alleged misconduct by city council members, Lemon Grove Mayor Racquel Vasquez has announced plans to bring in professional help to seek reconciliation, restore good relations among elected officials and staff, and improve the city's image in the community.

“Thanks to the intervention of Oprah Winfrey, whom I met at a Democratic Party fundraiser, we’ve arranged for Dr. Phil to counsel our council and restore civility and civic trust to Lemon Grove," Mayor Vasquez announced in a press conference at the city's landmark lemon.

By Ima Rider

April 1, 2018 (Santee) – With multiple major housing communities proposed on some of the last developable land in San Diego County, Santee’s City Council has faced strong opposition from residents fearful of traffic gridlock on already congested city streets and State Route 52.

Today, Mayor John Minto announced an innovative solution.

By Peggy Leg

April 1, 2018 (Borrego Springs) – Way back in the late 1820s, Thomas “Pegleg” Smith got lost in a sandstorm and hobbled up a hill on his wooden leg to get his bearings. There, he claimed to have discovered walnut-sized rocks that he later learned contained gold as well as silver and manganese.

As his story went, Pegleg was chased away by Indians and could never find his lost gold. Now Pegleg, who was also a horse thief, trapper and notorious teller of tall tales, was suspected by many to have made up the whole story – especially since he sold maps to eager but luckless prospectors. He event inspired the Pegleg Smith Liar’s Contest held each April.

 Many have searched for Pegleg’s lost gold through the years, but no one ever found it – until now...

By Star Wares

April 1, 2017 (El Cajon )—Congressional members Duncan Hunter and Susan Davis held a press conference today in El Cajon to unveil a new “replicator” technology to be headquartered near Gillespie Field.

“The era of high taxes is over,”  Rep. Hunter announced.  “What government needs, it can replicate. Now that  government only needs to fund payroll for vital services such as the military,  I will be introducing a bill to slash taxes by 50%.”

Rep. Davis explained, “Light years ahead of 3-D printer technology, the Vespuccia Replicator is capable of scanning, processing and instantaneously replicating objects ranging from bridge supports to tanks.”