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By Abel Reader

April 1, 2017 (La Mesa) --By a unanimous vote, La Mesa’s City Council has voted to eliminate City Hall and build a state-of-the-art new library in its place, fulfilling a years-long promise to residents.  The project will be paid for by selling off the old police station to a developer who has committed to build affordable housing on the site.

“This is a win-win for La Mesa,” said Mayor  Mark Arapostathis, a junior theatre instructor who initially opposed the plan until a performing arts center that can double as public meeting space was added to the plan. 

The four-story structure will also include a “cat café”  and bookstore at the recommendation of Councilwoman Kristine Alessio, who pledged to bring her exotic felines to interact with customers seeking the “purr-fect” reading niche.  The cat café bookstore, which will also have free wi-fi, will be jointly run by Alessio and Craig Maxwell as a companion outlet to his Maxwell’s House of Books.

Adding affordable housing to the village on the old police site won support of new Councilmember Colin Parent, who also insisted on bicycle racks and golf cart parking spaces to serve La Mesa’s resident’s, young and old.

The new library will have a circular design, incorporating spiral elements reflecting those in the Helix snail statue commissioned for the Centennial.  A corner penthouse suite with village views will  provide offices for La Mesa’s librarians and Council staff.  Parking will be underground to maximize bookshelf space.

Councilman Guy McWhirter voiced optimism that the La Mesa Village Merchants could use the  library’s stage as an added venue for Oktoberfest and  Holiday in the Village festivities. “Book it!” he declared. 

Councilman Bill Baber affirmed  his enthusiasm for the virtual meeting concept, noting, “Now I can hear testimony and cast votes from the comfort of  the nearest taco shop or while traveling out of town."

 Friends of the La Mesa Library, which proposed a virtual City Hall to clear space for the new four-story library, argued convincingly that actually meeting with the public is passé.

 “Everyone has a smart phone now,”  a press release from the group concludes, “and paperwork is all online. Who needs offices? Council can chill out with mocha javas at the Cat Café, or tap dance their way across the Arapostathis Stage on the new library’s top floor, and live-stream proceedings to the world. “

The public has long complained that afternoon Council meetings are inconvenient for some. So Friends of the Library  concludes, “Just as Council members already have options to attend meetings remotely while traveling, now the public, too, can log in and speak out from home, work, or anywhere else--and if they really want face time with their Council members, there’s always the Cat Café.”

Happy April Fool’s Day!

View more April Fool’s Day 2017 stories here.


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After I thought about how this was going to all be paid for by the sale of that one property, I began to feel even more naive. Thank God for screen names ;-) And I look good with a red face as well!

Lost in the well defined details

I'm feeling very naive (and it's early) but this only an April Fools "fake news" story for entertainment, correct? I did note the "Special April Fools Edition" in red, as well as the "Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide" line of text in bold, so I'm thinking yes, it's only a joke, but I wanted to make sure. I don't want to get my hopes up. And if it is a joke, then ya got me pretty good! Because even after all of the clues about it being an April Fools joke, it was written with just enough detail to leave me hanging, and I'll most likely enjoy a red face soon.


It's a joke.