April Fools Day

HOMELESS HAVEN TO GO UNDERGROUND

 

 

 

By Bilbo Baggins

April 1, 2017 (San Diego) – The San Diego Regional Task Force on Homelessness has come up with a novel solution to shelter our region’s growing homeless population.

“By  constructing Hobbit-style homes tucked into hillsides along our border region, and connecting them  through a network of repurposed and enhanced tunnels originally built by drug smugglers, we can create a sustainable  yet unobtrusive “Homeless Hobbit Habitat,” said  Ben Diggin, task force spokesman.

PROPOSALS ROLL IN TO REPLACE SUN VALLEY GOLF COURSE IN LA MESA

 

 

By  O.K. Putter

April 1, 2017 (La Mesa) – Last month, La Mesa City Council announced it would not be renewing a lease with Sun Valley Golf Course near the community center.  The city asked for ideas for alternative uses of the site. 

Today, the city announced that a wide variety of  creative proposals have been submitted.  They include:

STATE APPROVES ALPINE “DIVORCE” FROM GROSSMONT DISTRICT

 

Astonishing story rocks community and sends shockwaves across district

By Merry Parent

April 1, 2016 (Alpine) – Alpine residents are dancing in the streets in an impromptu town-wide celebration after the California Board of Education granted Alpine parents’ request to break off from the Grossmont Union High School and unify with the Alpine Union School District.  The move will require approval by district voters.  If approved, the AUSD announced today that it will finally build the long-promised high school in Alpine.

SPECIAL EDITION: BREAKING NEWS APRIL 1, 2015

April 1, 2015—East County Magazine has the exclusive scoop on astounding major stories breaking today:

  • Jamul Indians scrap casino plans, will build Chargers stadium instead
  • Park Station revamps plans for high rise in La Mesa
  • La Mesa unveils new downtown landscaping plan
  • County sells naming rights to fire trucks

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Be sure to  click this link to view these stories in our extra-special April 1st edition. (Trust us, you won't want to miss this news!)  Then click "read more" to open each story and get the full scoop.

JAMUL INDIANS SCRAP CASINO PLANS, WILL BUILD CHARGERS STADIUM INSTEAD

 

A little April Fool's Day Fun.

By Horse Feathers

April 1, 2015 (Jamul) – The Jamul Indian tribe today made a surprise announcement, revealing that it has abandoned plans to build a Hollywood-themed Casino and instead reached an agreement with the National Football League (NFL) and Chargers to build a new sports stadium on its six-acre Jamul Indian Village site.

The team will play its nine home games at the state-of-the-art stadium equipped with deluxe sky boxes and adjacent high-rollers lounge, plus seating for 79,000 fans.

Since the stadium will be on tribal land, there won’t be a problem betting on games.  In fact slot machines and gaming tables will be installed throughout the stadium including in the parking lot, where each parking space will be equipped with its own slot machine for ‘tailgate party gambling.’  Inside, each stadium seat will be equipped with “place your bet” buttons.

PARK STATION REVAMPS PLANS FOR HIGH RISE IN LA MESA

 

A little April Fool’s Day fun.

By Skye High

April 1, 2015 (La Mesa) –After planners twice rejected proposals for an 18-story and 10-story high rise mixed use development at Spring Street and Baltimore Drive in La Mesa, the developers of Park Station have submitted alternative plans  aimed at doing more with less. The new plan will include a vertical cannabis farm, cubicle style hotel, community garden, lounge and rotating restaurant powered by renewable energy.

LA MESA UNVEILS NEW LANDSCAPING PLAN

 

A little April Fool's Day Fun.

By Barry Pickens

 

April  1, 2015 (La Mesa)—After months of torn-up streets for revitalization of La Mesa’s downtown village, the city has unveiled its new landscaping plan.

“Today we are pleased to announce an Edible Forest for La Mesa,” said Mayor Mark Arapostathis, plucking a ripe apple off a newly planted tree beside city hall.  “All residents are welcome to help plant, harvest, and savor the fruits of these labors.”

One side of La Mesa Boulevard will be planted in grapevines and the other side will feature hops vines, thus sustaining the city’s burgeoning winemaking and craft brewery businesses.  There will also be a community vineyard and hops haven outside the La Mesa community center.

COUNTY SELLS NAMING RIGHTS TO FIRE TRUCKS

 

A little April Fool's Day fun.

By Betty Burns

April 1, 2015 (San Diego)—Seeking to prevent fire stations from closing again this season due to budget cuts, the County of San Diego announced today that it has sold corporate naming rights to fire trucks.

Hooters Restaurant was the first to sign up for this opportunity, also agreeing to provide Hooters waitresses to serve firefighters at their base camp during wildfires.

SPECIAL EDITION: BREAKING NEWS APRIL 1, 2014

 

 

 

April 1, 2014—East County Magazine has the exclusive scoop on astounding major stories breaking today.

 

  • Wind turbines to be torn down, replaced with Ocotillo Oasis
  • Snails invade La Mesa
  • Kumeyaay Charter High to rise in Alpine

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Be sure to click this link and SCROLL DOWN to view these stories in our extra-special April 1st edition. (Trust us, you won't want to miss this news!)  Then click "read more" to open each story and get the full scoop.

WIND TURBINES TO BE TORN DOWN, SITE CONVERTED TO OCOTILLO OASIS

 

 

By Otto B. Happenin

April 1,2014 (Ocotillo) – A federal judge has ordered the Ocotillo Wind Energy Facility to be decommissioned, finding that the project has failed to produce even half of the power promised by its developer, who pocketed huge federal subsidies.  Much to the delight of environmentalists, tribes, and the long-suffering people of Ocotillo, Judge Roland Rock declared, “This is a wind project without wind, plus it's been an ecological nightmare. It’s time to tear it down.  Let’s roll!”

He further ordered Pattern Energy to fund reparations for removing turbines, restoring natural desert habitat and creating enhanced recreational  opportunities for Ocotillo residents. This will include the  Ocotillo Wind River Oasis, a water slide park constructed out of recycled wind turbines. The oasis will also include a golf course, poolside bar, wildlife preserve and live simulcasts of off-road racing events at a new off-site race track.  Hot air balloon rides, wafting on the very gentlest of breezes here, will provide tourists with birds-eye views of desert wildlife. (Click read more below for full story)

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