By Seymour Lemmons

April 1, 2020 (Lemon Grove) – After a ballot measure to raise sales tax failed, Lemon Grove community members today announced plans for new revenue streams centered around the city’s core staple: lemons.

“With shortages of hand sanitizers amid COVID-19 concerns, the first product we’re rolling out is a lemon-scented hand sanitizer manufactured by the City of Lemon Grove,” said Mayor Racquel Vasquez, who added that she drew inspiration from New York State, which recently started producing its own brand of hand sanitizers.

 Unlike New York, which is relying on prison labor, Lemon Grove is teaming up with a spirited  local distillery and hiring local residents, creating “good jobs with livable wages” to also put more disposable income into workers’ pockets, the Mayor added, spritizing sanitizer spray into her palms and rubbing them vigorously as the aroma of lemon wafted over the press corps assembled for the announcement.

By I.M. Skerd, ECM Special Correspondent

April 1, 2020 (El Cajon) -- A generous group of El Cajon politicians and school board members have come together with donations to the East County animal rescue group RescuingCujo.com to give a pit bull emotional support dog to East County Magazine Contributing Editor Paul Kruze. In addition, a fundraiser for the good cause was held by members of the former Julian Cuyamaca Fire Protection District (JCFPD).

Kruze, has covered many high-stress stories including the rise and fall of former El Cajon City Councilman Ben Kalasho, controversies in the Cajon Valley Union School District (CVUSD), and a firestorm over takeover of the JCFPD by the County of San Diego Fire Authority, along with other hot local issues.

By Miss Terry

April 1, 2020 (Julian) – Around the world, as cities and towns shut down due to the coronavirus pandemic, there are reports of wild animals roaming the streets – from cougars in Colorado to coyotes in San Francisco.  Early this morning, several reports have come in of a mysterious creature first spotted in Ranchita and later, lumbering down Main Street through downtown Julian.

“It looked just like that statute of a yeti in front of the Ranchita store, only with long, dark hair,” said Ida Witness, a Ranchita resident who says she heard her dogs howling shortly before dawn when she went outside and saw the towering, shadowy figure.