EX-POLITICOS UNITE TO FORM FOUNDATION

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By Ben Badd

April 1, 2023 (San Diego) – A quartet of former elected officials who left office amid scandals held a press conference today to announce formation of their new “Reboot & Rehab” foundation for recovering politicians. The organization was founded by former Congressmen Duncan D. Hunter and Randy “Duke” Cunningham, who both left office after being convicted on criminal charges, in partnership with ex-Mayor Bob Filner and Supervisor Nathan Fletcher, who both faced sex scandals that drove them from office.

“We believe everyone deserves a second chance, including politicians,” said Fletcher, speaking remotely from an undisclosed rehab facility after announcing his resignation following a lawsuit filed by an MTS employee alleging sexual misconduct. “There are programs to help recovering drug addicts and prisoners with reentry, but no programs tailored specifically to the needs of recovering former officials.”

Hunter, who was pardoned by then-president Donald Trump before serving prison time for spending campaign funds on a lavish personal lifestyle, stated, “Politics is a stressful job, and those who served our country, or our community, need help to find new careers.”

Filner  served as a civil rights activist and later Congressman before becoming Mayor, then resigned amid sexual harassment claims and pled guilty to false imprisonment and battery. “All of us had honorable pasts before politics got us in trouble,” he said, acknowledging his three colleagues’ distinguished combat military records. “So there’s a clear need for bipartisan help for our fallen political colleagues.”

Cunningham spent seven years in prison on charges including taking bribes. He spoke on a remote feed from his hunting cabin in Arkansas, noting that a pardon from Trump enabled him to once again buy a gun. “As a former fighter pilot, I know how tough it is to be under enemy fire, and it’s even tougher to go from being hailed as a hero to being publicly ridiculed.”

The Reboot & Rehab Foundation will offer grants to aid recovering politicians who leave office under a legal or moral cloud to get rehab services, anger management classes, marriage and mental health counseling. It will also provide inmate services to ex-politicos behind bars, as well as vocational trainingfor recovering politiciansto start new careers such as hunting guides, rehab mentors, or lobbyists. Relocation for disgraced office holders will also be offered for those who wish to start new lives far away from the communities where they were ostracized.

In addition, the foundation will fund voter awareness messages to educate the electorate on the importance of ethics in those they choose as representatives.

Happy April Fool’s Day!   



 

 


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