SIMPLE WISDOM: ARE YOU CAUGHT IN A TRIANGLE?

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By Penelope Andrade

April 1, 2009 (San Diego)--Are you caught in a relationship triangle? Everyone is familiar with two people having an affair without the knowledge of a spouse or significant other. What you may not know is that other triangles also cause problems – parent and child against the other parent – friends, couples/in-laws, co-workers siding with one another in shifting alliances. Extricating yourself from any of these tangles can be a challenge because they’re typically a smokescreen for deeper issues.

Here’s the tip. Check if you’re prepared to dig for feelings you’ve been avoiding. Guaranteed, if you’re in a troublesome triangle, you are sad, mad, or scared about things you’ve been unable to discuss with those involved. If ready, see if you’re afraid of hurting feelings or incurring wrath. Ask yourself, “What would help me feel safe enough to speak openly about my feelings to each person involved.

You may need to let go of the belief that conflict should be avoided. If this seems scary, take a breath. The reality is communicating about feelings strengthens bonds – especially if it’s done without blaming. Drop into your heart. Plan to speak tenderly and courageously about what you feel and what you need. Stop all secrets. Let the truth do its job. While this may initially bruise egos, it usually leads to healing connections in all directions. You’ll no longer be an agitated hub of shaky geometry, but a strong, steady spoke in a circle of healthy communication.

Penelope Young Andrade LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist with over 35 years experience integrating the best of traditional and alternative approaches for bodymind transformation. www.penelopetalk.com 858-481-5752 penart@abac.com


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