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By Ben Anglin

April 1, 2024 (Alpine) – More than a year after extreme draining killed all the fish in Loveland Reservoir, California Fish & Wildlife authorities confirm that schools of  fish are once again populating the reservoir.

This phenomena has occurred despite Sweetwater Water Authority’s refusal to invest in restocking the lake,  and despite federal and state wildlife authorities opposition to restocking with nonnative fish that previously inhabited the lake.  This has led to speculation as to how the fish have repopulated.

“It’s a miracle!” declared  Father Jesús Milagro, comparing the resurrection of bass, carp and bluegill at Loveland to the miraculous fish catches described in the Gospel of Luke.

Others have alternative ideas.

State Fish & Wildlife officer Hunt Wilder theorizes that birds may have caught fish at nearby Sweetwater Reservoir or the Sweetwater River, then dropped them in Loveland, now abrim with water after the winter rains.  “A pregnant fish can produce thousands of roe, or eggs,”  Wilder said at a press conference this morning at Loveland.

National Weather Service meteorologist Stormy Weathers suggested that powerful winds or even funnel clouds might have scooped up fish from one location and blown them over to Loveland. “Wev’e heard of raining cats and dogs, so why not fish?” she said.

Federal wildlife authorities have suggested a potentially unlawful explanation. Tipsters have reported seeing mysterious lights at other local lakes after dark, and spotting men in camouflage garb toting fishing gear, large coolers and aquarium tanks exiting the premises late at night, said agent Will E. Findem.

“We suspect smugglers may have illicitly transported purloined  fish from other local reservoirs to Loveland,” he revealed. 

Advocates for restocking Loveland Reservoir with popular fish species have denied these allegations. One angler, reeling in a large bass  at Loveland today, dismissed such speculation as  “just a fish story.”

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Read more April Fool’s 2024 stories.


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