SIMPLE WISDOM -- Are you having trouble keeping your New Year's Resolutions?

Trouble keeping resolutions?

By Penelope Young Andrade

February 1, 2009 (San Diego) — Are you having trouble keeping your New Year's
Resolutions? For many, February finds you slinking back to old habits. You
hate and berate yourself for being ˜weak willed" but can't find a way to resist
temptation. The problem, typically, is not that you're weak willed, but rather
that you haven't found a way to use your will skillfully.

Here's the tip. First, check if the habit you're trying to change is
the one you're really ready to change. Be sure you're focused on the
right one for you in this moment (not your partner, parent, or friend's pick.)
Next, list why it's really important, to shift this particular pattern.
You'll need to have your values front and center whenever you attempt the hard
work of deleting old and installing new behaviors. Third, make another list
of how pleasure in life will increase if you let go of this pattern.
This is crucial because pleasure will not be denied. You'll need to see specifically
how this change will bring you more pleasure.

Fourth, make this change easier -- exercise with loved ones, stock your fridge
with healthy, tasty treats, plan for comforting activities (baths,
funny movies), find soothing shoulders and empathetic ears to help cope with
the inevitable separation pain of dropping unhealthy crutches. Join a
group designed to support recovery.

Finally, consider any relapse an opportunity to re-up and strengthen your
resolve. Be gentle. Loving yourself is the most important skill of all.

Penelope Young Andrade LCSW is a San Diego-based licensed psychotherapist
with over 35 years experience integrating the best of traditional and alternative
approaches for bodymind transformation. www.penelopetalk.com 858-481-5752 penart@abac.com