Moving On: Redesigning Your Emotional, Financial, and Social Life After Divorce, by David J. Glass, JD, PhD (Lioncrest Publishing, San Bernardino, CA, 2018, 186 pages).
Book Review by Dennis Moore
“David served as the mediator for my own divorce. He provided creative problem-solving that resulted in reasonable alternatives for myself and my ex-husband. In the simplest terms: he made things easy for us. Moving On offers more of the same. The book is a practical, self-help guide to charting what works in your life, what doesn’t, and how to change the latter. Your “second chance” can start now, and this book will help you maximize it.”
- MARIEL HEMINGWAY, Actress, producer, and author of Healthy Living from the Inside Out
February 8, 2020 (San Diego) - Where was Dr. David J. Glass, the author of Moving On: Redesigning Your Emotional, Financial, and Social Life After Divorce, when it seemed that I needed him the most, going through my own divorce and child custody issues? In reading this insightful book by Dr. Glass, it is like he is preaching to the choir, for I have experienced a lot of what he has written in this book. He gives sage advice to anyone faced with the difficult prospect of divorce.
In Moving On, the author states: “keep in mind that divorce is not that big a deal. Over 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, so most of us are right in the middle of that bell curve. There’s wrong with that. You may feel like a failure, but think of all the you know who remain married when they probably shouldn’t.”
When author David J. Glass went through his own divorce over a decade ago, he was surprised at how few resources were available to help guide him through the year that came after his divorce was finalized. Drawing from his own post-divorce journey, as well as from over two decades of experience – first as a therapist and currently as a family law attorney – David wrote Moving On to help others pick themselves up, set a new course, and start moving forward.
The author states in this insightful and well written book: “Once you’ve decided to get a divorce, a series of important conversations await. Many people are afraid of telling their parents, siblings, and friends about their divorce because they have to admit failure. It’s common to want to retreat from that feeling – or even to hide it – but remember that loved ones are typically supportive.”
The author further states, which is profound: “On top of everything else in this trying time, you have to admit you made a mistake. You chose the wrong partner. Or you didn’t conduct yourself responsibly.” I can attest to that!
Perhaps the most profound reference and quotation made in Moving On is attributed to a Jennifer Weiner, which states: “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.” That reference and quotation can easily be attributed to me, for after 39 years of marriage I got a divorce just last year! Again, where was Dr. Glass when I seemed to have needed him the most?
The author gives many reinforcing references and quotations throughout Moving On such as the one by Jennifer Weiner that gets his message across. He tackles subjects such as “Blending Families” and “Changes in Modern-Day Dating.”
After a divorce, the author poses a significant and relevant question about a subsequent marriage, “is this one going to work?” He answers that by stating: “Southern California, for example, sees a 65 percent divorce rate on second marriages – in my opinion, because too many people don’t put any effort into figuring out what went wrong the first time.”
It is interesting to note in Moving On that the author offers this seemingly sage advice: “I advise people to see a relationship or couples counselor before they get married. Choose an eight- or twelve-week course, commit to it, and show up to each session ready to discuss current or potential issues.”
It is also interesting to note that Dr. Glass is a certified pastor who can perform marriages, though he is still waiting to marry his first couple. This particular fact about the author makes one wonder about a passage in the 16th Chapter of Luke under Divorce and Remarriage, which states: "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery."
Due to an aborted scheduled phone interview with Dr. Glass because of an emergency legal hearing, I didn't get to inquire of him about the aforementioned passage in the Bible, but I am still curious about his stance on the subject.
I would possibly still be married after 40 years if there was a Dr. David J. Glass in my life that I could have gone to, but for those reading this great and insightful book, it is not too late for them. I strongly encourage those contemplating marriage for the first time or another marriage after a divorce to read this book. The author's interview on "Author House" says it all here.
Dennis Moore has been the Associate Editor of the East County Magazine in San Diego and the book review editor of SDWriteway, an online newsletter for writers in San Diego that has partnered with the East County Magazine. Mr. Moore can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org or you can follow him on Twitter at: @DennisMoore8.