MEMO TO ARNOLD: A SCRIPT TO SAVE KALEEFORNIA, NOT TERMINATE IT

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An Editorial By Miriam Raftery
Editor, East County Magazine

June 3, 2009 (San Diego’s East County)—If California ever needed an action hero at the helm, it’s now. Instead, Arnold has taken the “girlie man” way out –balancing the budget on the backs of the poor by proposing to eliminate healthcare for children and welfare-to-work programs. He also wants to close 80% of state parks, release prisoners, and slash school spending.

Granted, a grid-locked Legislature, Republicans who pale at the words “raise revenues,” Democrats who were split on ballot initiatives and fed-up voters who failed to pass the measures have left him few easy choices. But Arnold has one ace left in the hole: star power. Here’s how he can use it to debut the most important road show of his career: “Save Kaleefornia.”

1. Ask your friends in Hollywood—yes, those limousine liberals---to host a “Save Kaleefornia” day. Donate all proceeds from movies shown statewide to a special “Save Kaleefornia” fund.

2. Invite movie stars, TV stars and sports celebrities to donate signed memorabilia for a giant “Save Kaleefornia” celebrity auction.

3. Get Bill Gates to organize an online “Save Kaleefornia” fundraising drive—starting by kicking in a hefty donation himself.

4. Ask your pal Warren Buffett to kick in a billion bucks or so.

5. Urge the top 100 wealthiest people in California to pay their fair share as a public service. Publish a list of all their names.

6. Tell the most profitable corporations to pony up some money, too. I’ll bet SDG&E could spare a few million, given the profits reported on their latest shareholder report.

7. Tell your Republican friends it’s time to take some “personal responsibility” to cover the costs of running this place. Urge them to do some fundraising in their churches, service clubs, and schools.

8. As for Democrats, ask those who would actually have been willing to pay higher fees or taxes to please send in a voluntary donation.

9. Host a “Save Our State Parks” day at every state park in California. Go sign autographs. Triple fees for that day only. Bring a band and a few of your Hollywood friends along for good measure. Sell beer and popcorn for the rednecks, and bring some wine spritzers and sushi for the chi-chi liberal crowd.

10. Star in a new action-packed horror movie: “The Destruction of Kaleefornia.” Then ask people to prevent it from happening. Donate all proceeds to salvage what’s left of our state.

11. Take your show on the road with Bono, Madonna and other rock stars in a "Concerts to Save Kaleefornia" series. Tell everyone in every state that’s ever visited California—or wants to someday—to help out.

12. Ask Miss California for some help. She’s been very eager to save California from gay marriages—maybe she’ll help out by becoming a “Save Kaleefornia” spokesperson, too. I’ll bet that lingerie she modeled would fetch a dandy price on E-Bay.

13. Send CAL-FIRE firefighters and hotshots out to street corners for a “fill the boot” drive. Who can resist a real-life action hero?

14. Major League Baseball, Football and Basketball all seem to be drawing healthy crowds. Why not ask them to designate a “Save Kaleefornia Day” at every stadium in the state, donate a portion of ticket proceeds, and put a donation barrel outside every gate?

15. Ask Obama to urge every American to buy stuff from California. Convince them it’s their patriotic duty—like buying American. Do we really want the sixth largest economy in the world to go belly-up? We’re too large to fail!

16. Go to Europe. Canada. Everywhere. Schmooze heads of state and the populace masses. Ask your legions of fans to help out, too.

17. Hold a special “Save Kaleefornia” lottery drawing and sell tickets. Greed is a powerful motivator!

18. Ask California’s politicians to kick in leftover funds in the campaign coffers. (I’ll bet a lot of them are going to lose. Why not put those excess funds to work?)

19. Hit up your campaign donors for some money to Save Kaleefornia. All those corporate lobbyists surely owe you a few favors. How about hosting a gala?

20. Get the tourists to pitch in, too! Tell ‘em if they want to keep the Golden State golden, they should donate some “gold” of their own. Get businesses to hawk "Save Kaleefornia" T-shirts and other merchandise--think of it as a stiumulus to save our state.

Sell “Save Kaleefornia” merchandise at every tourist trap in the state.
Speaking of gold, when I was in Sacramento last week , a tour guide in the historic State Capitol (yes, one of those state park museums you want to close) quipped that you might soon be scraping gold off the Capitol dome. I oppose that suggestion.

After all, we’ve got to save something for a rainy day!

If you wish to send this editorial to the Governor or voice your own views, you can send him an e-mail using this form:

http://gov.ca.gov/interact#email

Or contact his Capitol office in Sacramento:

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

State Capitol Building

Sacramento, CA 95814

Phone: 916-445-2841

Fax: 916-558-3160 ( new number )

Or reach the Governor via his San Diego office:

1350 Front Street, Suite 6054

San Diego, CA 92101

Phone: 619-525-4641

Fax: 619-525-4640

For a list of addresses, phone and fax numbers for the Governor’s offices in other Califiornia cities and in Washington D.C., click here: http://gov.ca.gov/interact#contact.

Comments

please use the link at the

please use the link at the bottom of the story to send this to the Governator!

If you really want to help Save Kaleefornia, forward this to a few zillion of your closest friends, too. Thanks from a lifelong Californian!

Arnold is like a stone outdoor fireplaces - stone and smog!