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A little April Fool’s Day fun.

By Skye High

April 1, 2015 (La Mesa) –After planners twice rejected proposals for an 18-story and 10-story high rise mixed use development at Spring Street and Baltimore Drive in La Mesa, the developers of Park Station have submitted alternative plans  aimed at doing more with less. The new plan will include a vertical cannabis farm, cubicle style hotel, community garden, lounge and rotating restaurant powered by renewable energy.

“We’ve listened to the community, and we’re confident that our new plans will have something for everyone,” says Seymour Schemz,  spokesman for the developer.  This design will help fill needs here in La Mesa, also offering mitigation for those unavoidable impacts such as loss of views. We believe our project fits the community character and will enhance the quality of life for all La Mesa residents.”

Below is a description provided by Schemz as an exclusive preview for East County Magazine readers:

Pot Station will be a mixed-use facility in a graceful twin tower design featuring a marijuana growing collective utilizing a  state-of-the-art, vertical farm format with whimsical Seussical-style design elements.  The project will also house a  medical cannabis dispensary all in one convenient location for La Mesa’s aging and aching population.  This will be such a profitable business model that only six stories will be required in the tallest spire.

In anticipation of recreational pot becoming legal after a ballot initiative in 2016, pot station will also feature Jay’s Joint, a  reefer lounge and bar that we expect will become a popular hang-out for all La Mesans over 21.  

Pot Station will provide numerous jobs, hiring at-risk youths and giving ex-inmates employment opportunities, drawing on their skills and experience in weed growing and selling operations. There will also be a drive-through for the mobility challenged. 

The developer has also generously agreed to donate rooftop space for a La Mesa community garden to be planted, maintained and harvested by local school children.

Park-It Station Hotel will also fulfill La Mesa Chamber of Commerce president Mary England’s long-standing desire for a hotel in La Mesa, bringing in hotel taxes to boost the city’s bottom line.  Given the lot size and height constraints,  Park-It Station will feature a cubicle or capsule style hotel similar to those pioneered in Japan on the second story in Tower One. Each sleeping compartment or “pod” will measure 8 feet by 4 feet by 3 feet to accommodate the needs of budget-minded travelers, party-goers seeking  a place to sleep it off before driving home, homeless people, and business women working nights on El Cajon Boulevard, along with their clients.

An innovative grow light system will also allow the towers to glow green for St. Patrick’s Day, orange for Oktoberfest and red during Christmas in the Village, with  a glowing stars and stripes motif for the city’s annual Flag Day Parade in keeping with community character.

As a finishing touch, Tower Two will feature a futuristic, double-decker, flying-saucer shaped revolving restaurant and observatory, while Tower One will be topped by wind turbines to fully power this ultimate “green” project in the Jewel of the Hills.

Happy April Fool’s Day!  View more April Fools 2015 stories here.