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By Iolanda Scripca

She just hoped she wouldn't die alone but made sure to leave her door unlocked so someone, anyone would find her...

May 12, 2013 (San Diego)—I wonder if there is a definition for the words "forgotten mother?" If not I was thinking to add to all the dictionaries of the world – your definition...and mine.

Sometimes I wonder if I am one of those mothers or heading in that direction.

I met a mother in her 80's who was upset she was hungry again that day as she was struck by poverty. Her son was building his second house somewhere but he never bothered to ask Mom if she was OK..

I met a mother in her 70's, she had three daughters whom she raised all alone but none of them gave her shelter in time of need.

Another “species” of ungrateful grown up children are the ones who do not invite their own mothers to their wedding ceremony just because the bride-to-be does not want them there...or else...

A mother was served Court papers by her own son, a restraining order signed by his future wife – a practical way to get rid of his dedicated and gentle Mom. Even the Judge asked the son if he was mistaken and if he was on the wrong side of the room being with that girl. He was just 19...That case was dismissed...but he still...forgot his Mom.

In one case I just could not understand why this certain Mom just detached herself totally from her son. I found out that she sold her house,car, neglected her spouse, everything... so the child could have a second chance to life: a heart Paris. I met him at a party decades after his operation and I offered my condolences. He looked at me very surprised with question marks on his grin...Someone else added: “ your Mom...we regret her passing...”

The now grown and well-dressed son took a whole bottle of whiskey, went upstairs, locked himself in the closed and, in a fetal position, he started crying like a baby, held lovingly by one. “I did not know, I did not know!!!!” Now it was too late to be held and loved.

We are getting so busy with little things as if they are so very important that we don't notice Mom's hair being different in the photos a relative happened to send us. We have all those up-to-date “communication devices” but Mom is not on our list of important numbers or any numbers.

If you read this then I am asking you to stop your busy schedule in the next hour (whatever that might be) sit down your Mom and pray she might still be answering that phone..


She just hoped she wouldn't die alone but made sure to leave her door unlocked so someone, anyone who could find her...

Some neighbors found her in her bed, with the pictures of her children locked into the stiffness of regrets...

A definition for the term: FORGOTTEN MOTHER is in your hands now.

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Happy Mother's Day?

A splendid article, Iolanda, about a facet of Mother's Day too often ignored. We read of celebration but hardly ever of disappointment experienced by mothers who are neglected and forgotten by their children. We have an old Italian saying that says "One parent can raise 100 kids, but 100 kids cannot care for one parent." How true that too often sadly is true. Youy expressed that unconcern in your excellent article.

Salvatore Buttaci


My Mother

As my daughter, Mom and I rested and prepared ourselves for the rest of the brood to arrive, we were startled by the pounding on our mobile home door. It was our neighbor screaming that we need to get out. There was a fire, flames leaping to the sky just below our home in an area we know to be used by the homeless, an "encampment ". As we scurried to get our dog, our keys for each of the three cars we needed to get into, and clothes on our backs, I couldn't think of any else but how ironic it was that just 15 minutes beforehand, my daughter had just arrived home from church. An event that was rare in itself because my daughter doesn't usually attend church with me, this was a privilege I was bestowed because it was Mother's Day. We rushed out of the Mobile Home Park, which, in and of itself is a miracle, there is only one way in and out and it would put us face to face with the 30 foot wall of flames. My daughter turned right, directly into the path of the fire. She is a new driver, she didn't even think of the consequences. My mom and I were directed to turn left, we were now all three of us separated. We didn't have a fire plan, but my daughter knew that her Grammy lived in the direction she had chosen so she headed there.....we would join her but have to take a different path. I frantically called all of my siblings to let them know not to come out as we had been evacuated. I heard back from only two of them. I assume that my other sister had something more important than to check to see if we were all ok. We ended up spending the afternoon at my exes Mother's house, how ironic since we haven't dated since 1996. Oh, and did I mention that there was a woman, determined to be one of the homeless from the encampment, that was found burned on the side of the road where the fire began? She was later determined to also be a veteran. Yes while my entire day was re-written, I couldn't have imagined that while I was ultimately being blessed by spending the day with two women I am grateful to call mom, this woman had all but been forgotten by society. I don't know if she was a mom, but I do know that she had to have a mom, so no matter how you look at it, Some mom somewhere is suffering the loss. Life often hands us situations that baffle us, but it doesn't get any simpler than this, tell those people in your life that you love them, tell them every day because you never know what the next minute holds for you........I love you Mom!


Iolanda, thank you for this reminder of my mother, although I do see her everyday and pray for her  every night, even though she died 4 years ago. I actually had a very realistic dream of her last night, in which we talked about a number of things, including her request for a cup of coffee. My mother and I were very close - when she died in the hospital in Chicago I and my brother Ronnie were beside her bed as the monitors that she was hooked up to indicated that she had taken her last breath. She died peacefully, and I was at peace with her. We shared so many things in life - she was my best friend. Her first airplane ride was with me, that to her mother's funeral in Kansas City. I spent some tremendous moments with my mother, and was there with her to the very end. Although in the latter years of her life her health was failing, the very last time that she went to worship at her Church we went together - on "Mother's Day." My mother raised 10 of us, basically by herself, and her kids were her life. She would fight for us and try to instill in us how to make a better life for ourselves, although we were not that good of a listener. When we would all get together for those family reunions in Chicago at Lincoln Park Zoo, the last time with her being aided by an oxygen mask, it was a joyous time for everyone. Every morning when I get up I look at a picture of her on her obituary, and say good morning, or tell her of the dream that I had of her last night. I can honestly say that I have been Blessed to have Dorothy Berneice Johnson as a mother, and that she will be with me in some shape or form for the rest of my life, and hopefully beyond. Love you Momma, Dennis Jr.