WILL POWER REPORT: BLESSINGS OF OLD AGE

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Nothing but the Truth!

By Will Power

 

November 16, 2010 (San Diego)--I am officially a geezer on Thanksgiving. So I thought it would be a good idea to think of how being old is a good thing. So here goes! I am thankful:

1. I am not a turkey. Over 100 have died in my name.
2. I can now get drunk on one can of beer.
3. Anytime I want, I can ignore a conversation to go to the bathroom.
4. I can watch old movies and never realize I have seen them already.
5. I can drive as slow as I want.
6. I can actually use the AARP card.
7. My opinions can be as outrageous as I want and the others just say "He's off his rocker!"
8. I can re-read books and say "I'm just checking my memory!"
9. I can hang up on practically anybody except my wife.
10, I can offer avuncular advice to young people even though I know it is hogwash.
11. I can get into National Parks cheaply.
12. Old people can be cheap and nobody gets excited about it.
13. All politicians are fair game.
14. I will never have to program a VCR again.
15. I can drive an old car and nobody remarks on how ancient it is.
16. We can complain about the "Good Old Days" and nobody can argue against us because they were not born then.
17. We can get as nostalgic as we want.
18. We can cry at shameless dog movies.
19. We can remember when a baseball player hit .400 and when pitchers pitched on two day's rest.
20. We can offer out opinions on anything to anybody and they listen, out of respect for our age.

 


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