April 1, 2010—East County Magazine had the exclusive scoop on some astounding major stories breaking today.

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Be sure to click this hot link to view these stories and oodles more in our extra-special April 1st edition. (Trust us, you won't want to miss this!)

By E.Z. Pickens
 

April 1, 2010 (Santee) – The San Diego Chargers have received an offer from the City of Santee to construct a new Chargers stadium in the East County community.
 

“This will be a win-win for the Chargers and East County,” said Santee Mayor Randy Voepel, wearing a sporty bolts blazer. With the upcoming completion of Highway 52, Santee will be easily accessible from all parts of San Diego. Having an NFL team in Santee will not only be good for Charger fans, but will also boost revenues for our city.”

By Ima Fann

April 1, 2010 (San Diego) – The San Diego Padres today announced that they have signed Luke Ramirez, 13, ace pitcher and batting champion from the Park View Little League World Series winning team in Chula Vista.
 

The move is expected to boost attendance for the Padres, given the enormous popularity of the Chula Vista world champs, while also adding some muscle to the lineup and the pitcher’s mound.

By Art Rich and Jack Pott

April 1, 2010 (El Cajon) -- Faced with a growing budget gap and boarded up storefronts downtown as a result of the recession, the City of El Cajon announced today that it has sold naming rights to City Hall, Main Street, and the East County Performing Arts Center.
 

“We saw a market opportunity to let these generous corporate partners buy influence AND boost their public images—all perfectly legally,” said Mayor Mark Lewis.

April 1, 2010 (San Diego’s East County) – The Chaldean community, in partnership with Cuyamaca College, San Diego State University, and Supervisor Dianne Jacob, have announced plans to create an economically sustainable tourism program for East County.

By Biz. E. Bee

April 1, 2010 (La Mesa) -- In these days with everyone looking for bargains, cutting out discount offers from local newspapers, and printing out on-line coupons, the La Mesa Chamber refuses to be outdone. The organization is offering a unique two-for-one offer unheard of in the hemisphere - two of its CEO, Mary England to do the job of the past “one” Mary England. That's right - two of Mary England instead of one.

The Chamber is in negotiations right now to clone England at a laboratory in Northern California. The location of this cloning procedure cannot be revealed as not to draw attention to this process that is not embraced by everyone.

By Will U. Party

April 1, 2010 (Rancho San Diego) – Building on the success of recent events sponsored by the Rancho San Diego-Jamul Chamber last year, Valerie Harrison, the region’s de facto mayor extraordinaire, has declared her intent to host the most community events of any jurisdiction in San Diego County.