April 1, 2011—East County Magazine has the exclusive scoop on astounding major stories breaking today.

Is truth stranger than fiction? You decide. Click this link to our extra-special edition Friday, April 1st . Trust us, you won't want to miss this news. 

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By Buck N. Hamm

 

April 1, 2011 (Lakeside) – San Diego County officials today hosted a special event aimed at culling herds of wild pigs that are rampaging through the backcountry, destroying native habitat.

“Modeled after the Bureau of Land Management’s popular program for reducing surplus wild mustangs on public lands, our County has teamed up with Cleveland National Forest and local Harley Davidson clubs to sponsor the first annual Hog Wild pig roundup and run,” Supervisor Dianne Jacob announced, cutting a ribbon as a herd of stampeding pigs raced through the streets of Lakeside.

By Mary Paulet

April 1, 2011 (San Diego) East County Magazine has learned that the Democratic Party will announce a surprising endorsement next Monday in the 2012 San Diego Mayoral Race.

A prominent Democratic source and Wikileaks have leaked documents to ECM indicating that Democrats will endorse not one, but two candidates running as a team: Congressman Bob Filner and State Senator Christine Kehoe, in a first-ever co-mayoral candidacy.

“CHAMBER MAIDS" TOUR ANNOUNCED

April 1, 2011 (Rancho San Diego) – A free banjo lesson taken during a Chamber-led tour of Deering Banjo factory in Spring Valley proved music to Valerie Harrison’s ears. “I never knew I had musical talent before,” said the plucky President of the Rancho San Diego-Jamul Chamber of Commerce. 

By Wanda B. Sekure
 

April 1, 2011 (El Cajon) -- The National Association of Insurance Commissioners has declared El Cajon the safest city in America.

“Our underwriters found that El Cajon is ideally situated to minimize risks of a catastrophe,” said Commissioner Macon Wills. “Not only is El Cajon midway between the Rose Canyon and Elsinore earthquake fault lines, it also sits far enough north to avoid border violence, inland a good half-hour from the coast, and a full 53 miles away from the San Onofre nuclear power plant,” he noted, adding that the U.S. has recommended a 50-mile evacuation zone around Japan’s troubled reactors. “ If a nuke meltdown, tsunami or killer quake occurs,” Wills declared, “El Cajon is going to look like heaven.”

By Nancy Clement, La Mesa writer and Lake Murray Aficionado

April 1, 2011 (La Mesa) - Barbara (Cleves) Anderson, the honorary Mayor of Lake Murray, just announced that she met with the San Diego City Council--and big changes will be happening at Lake Murray beginning June 1st. Water skiing will be allowed at the west side of the lake near the ball fields and second, there will a fee charged for being at the lake.

These recommendations were based on a feasibility study conducted by SCAMDAG.

Nothing but the truth!

By Will Power

April 1, 2011 (Washington D.C.) -- In an unprecedented turnabout, President Barack Obama announced he is confiscating the excess profits of banks and brokers who profited from the recent Wall Street Crash. All the bonuses paid out will be seized and used to pay down the national debt.

Even more important, President Obama ordered oil companies and pharmaceutical companies to lower their prices by 25% , or face nationalization. The third important change was a halt to all home foreclosures, Homes which are in danger of foreclosure are ordered into arbitration and refinancing.