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Cooked vs. Uncooked Spaghetti, by Dr. Tania Hormozi, PSYD, LMFT (Made in the USA, Muncie, IL., July, 2023, 137 pages).

Book Review by Dennis Moore

January 12, 2024 (San Diego) - Dr. Tania Hormozi is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist practicing in San Diego, California for over 10 years. She holds a Doctorate degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Alliant International University and a Master’s degree in Couples and Family Therapy from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She is in private practice and provides therapy to individuals and mostly couples. She helps clients gain perspective, understanding, and identify solutions to problems using their own strengths and skills.

With those credentials one would think that she could have saved my marriage. After reading this book(s), you will have a better understanding of the differences between men and women, how to listen, how to express feelings, and be supportive emotionally, mentally, and physically for your female and/or male partners, and reconnect on a different level. You will have the tools to understand and truly connect with your partner. Wishful thinking!

Dr. Hormozi actually uses Cooked vs. Uncooked Spaghetti as a tantalizing metaphor, women as cooked and men as uncooked!

The author uses a lot of mind games, such as Consistency: “If you are persistent, you will get it, If you are consistent, you will keep it.” It really does make a lot of sense if you think about it! Being a man, she really got me to thinking and put a lot on my mind.

She gives a lot of sage advice in both of her books, such as: “Both partners compromise, learn, and change as needed.” This is what she means in a passage entitled TWO-WAY STREET.

Cooked vs. Uncooked Spaghetti is a framework for understanding how men and women think in relationships. A self-help guide geared towards men, it provides a fresh perspective, just like the first book to how women think and act in relationships. Written from a woman’s perspective – the Spaghetti framework helps men understand how a woman thinks, feels, and acts in a relationship: as well as understanding how women perceive situations in dating, relationships, and marriages. This book will also clear up any stereotypes, myths, and ideas men have about women “being crazy”, or any other statements women typically hear that are insensitive and not empowering to who they are and what they bring to a relationship.

This really is a lot to digest, and I trust my male bias does not come out!

After reading this book, you will have a better understanding of the differences between men and women, how to listen, how to express feelings, and to be supportive emotionally, mentally, and physically for your female partners, and reconnect on a different level. You will have the tool to understand and truly connect with your partner.

Or, you can believe in that old adage: Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.”  This is a book that I highly recommend.

Dennis Moore has been the Associate Editor of the East County Magazine in San Diego and the book review editor for SDWriteway, an online newsletter for writers in San Diego that has partnered with the East County Magazine, along with being the former President of the Bethel A.M.E. Prison Ministry in San Diego, as well as an author of a book about Chicago politics. Mr. Moore can be contacted at contractsagency@gmail.com or you can follow him on Twitter (X) at: @DennisMoore8.



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California thankfully has

a way to avoid the marriage blame game where a government license and a church ceremony promise a friendly dual life ever after, except that many marriages end in divorce. That is the California partner designation, which removes the license and ceremony formalities better to allow the couple to treat each other with love and respect,and not because the license and ceremony promise anything.

“Happy Birthday Dr. Hormozii”

Happy Birthday Dr. Hormozi, and I wish you many more! Yesterday, while wishing Dr. Hormozi a Mother's Day greeting, she informed me that she was not yet a mother, but the sentiment is still there, and who knows, perhaps one day she will be one. And, by reading and reviewing her book(s), there is a lot of material here to suggest that she would be a good mother.pp

The Differences in Men and Women

As someone who has navigated the intricate dance of marriage, I found Dr. Tania Hormozi’s metaphor of Cooked vs. Uncooked Spaghetti to be a compelling way to illustrate the dynamic differences between partners in a relationship. I am excited to delve into the insights that encourage both reflection and action. I worked in many male dominant fields in law enforcement, criminal justice, and safety roles, and was married for 10 years, and I have learned that a great deal about gender differences. Flexibility and resilience are definitely a requirement in any partnership, work relationship, or environment. It’s about being able to bend without breaking and understanding that each person brings their own unique texture to the relationship. Dr. Hormozi’s perspective serves as a reminder that while we may not always have control over the outcome of our relationships, we do have the power to approach them with intention, empathy, and a willingness to learn from one another. Whether it’s through cooked or uncooked spaghetti, the essence lies in finding common ground and savoring the journey together. Thank you, Dr. Hormozi, for providing a fresh perspective on the complexities of human connections and for reminding us that understanding, and communication are the keys to unlocking a deeper, more fulfilling partnership. Cortinajackson.com My movie "Daddy" that I wrote, directed, and produced delves into some of the complexities of relationships. Daddy shows the effects of abandonment and the pain that it left behind. It is parallel story of 2 lives affected in different ways by the daddy who abandoned them, the daddies who would follow, and the Father who was always there. https://zondratvnetwork.com/daddy I am very excited to connect with you Dr. Hormozi! Thank you, Dennis, for a wonderful review and a kind connection.

Thank you

Ms. Jackson thank you so much for your kind words. In my work with couples I continued to see the miscommunication and lack of love and consideration that partners had for one another was not always coming from hurt or resentment but from not knowing their audience as their partners. They do not know or understand the biological stance of a man and woman is different in the way they think, feel, and behave is very opposite. I look forward to connecting with you Cortina, and will definitely look into the movie you mentioned.

These books are available on Amazon!

Thank you Dennis for writing this review of my books. I appreciate the time you took to do so. I like to say my books are a modern version of Men are from Mars...because it gives relatable concepts in each separate book about how to date online and communicate in this day and age with your partner. Hope it reaches some people who are in need of some helpful tips in their relationship!