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By Biz. E. Bee


April 1, 2010 (La Mesa) -- In these days with everyone looking for bargains, cutting out discount offers from local newspapers, and printing out on-line coupons, the La Mesa Chamber refuses to be outdone. The organization is offering a unique two-for-one offer unheard of in the hemisphere - two of its CEO, Mary England to do the job of the past “one” Mary England. That's right - two of Mary England instead of one.


The Chamber is in negotiations right now to clone England at a laboratory in Northern California. The location of this cloning procedure cannot be revealed as not to draw attention to this process that is not embraced by everyone.


When interviewed for this story, Ms. England was asked how she felt about being cloned and would there be any physical changes to her “original” self. “I am happy to give what I can for the business community of La Mesa and the region,” England stated. “Yes the procedure of cloning a human is risky, but I am assured by the doctors handling the process that it will be a painless procedure,” she added.


We have it on good authority that England has been undergoing physical testing, meeting with staff of the cloning company to ensure that all systems are in place to facilitate a seamless cloning procedure. The cloning will take several weeks and while it happens, the “original” Mary England will be carrying on business as usual.


Mary England’s alter-ego will be dubbed Merry Ireland. By day, she will help double England’s already-prolific productivity as the top “chamber maid” for the La Mesa Chamber. We have an exclusive tip that Merry will also moonlight as a bar maid at Hooley’s by night, fulfilling her desire to be around fun-loving folks until the wee hours of the morning on a regular basis. The shifts will accommodate her busy schedule at the Chamber. With Mary and Merry, the local business community can count on twice as much getting done—and having fun in the process.


The public will be able to meet Mary and Merry at the upcoming 2nd Annual Taste of La Mesa on Monday, May 17th between 5:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. at the La Mesa Community Center. Tickets are only $25 a person and food will be provided by local restaurants and food providers. Last year was a “sold out” event and this year promises to be the same. So get your tickets early from Mary or Merry, visit or call the reservation line: 619-465-7700 Ext. 2 .


The Chamber advises guests to take extra money to this event, because instead of buying raffle tickets from “one” Mary for valuable prizes - you will have “two” CEOs from whom to purchase. “You know how much the existing Mary England loves to sell raffle tickets; just imagine how convincing Mary and her clone will be!” one Chamber staffer concluded.


To read more April Fools' Day “news” from East County Magazine’s special April 1st, 2010 edition, please visit:

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