By Sunny Day
April 1, 2022 (Lemon Grove) – Today, a group of Lemon Grove citizens held a press conference in front of the city’s landmark lemon to reveal preliminary plans for a Citrus Festival to fund reopening the community’s recreation center. Here are the juicy details.
“We anticipate sweet success from our Citrus Festival,” said festival organizer Flora Bloom, crowned by a citrus-studded cap. She then listed ideas harvested from community suggestions in meetings and on social media.
The event will include such agricultural fest staples as a lemon pie-eating contest, citrus toss, citrus cooking competition, and lemon picking team challenges. Tours of Lemon Grove’s historical sites, murals and other attractions will also be provided via yellow-painted pedicabs. Entertainment will include local bands and a Carmen Miranda impersonator with fruit-topped headdress.
Bloom continued, “To help the city retain employees in a time of worker attrition, all city staff will be honored on a special float. These Lemon Grove princes and princesses will wear citrus blossom garlands and be feted with all-you-can eat lemon goodies, as well as swag from local merchants to take home.”
Disruptive behavior will be prohibited at the event. Anyone calling names will be penalized with an hour of lemon picking and squeezing to make lemonade for event visitors. Any bickering or disputes among councilmembers will be resolved with a mud-wresting match in a mud patch amid a local citrus grove.
The public will have opportunities to participate in carnival-type games. One anticipated popular attraction will be a dunking booth. All councilmembers and other civic leaders will be asked to take a turn at the dunking booth, where residents can toss oranges, lemons and grapefruits at a target to douse whoever is in the dunking chair.
Councilmembers have not yet voiced opinions on the plan, which Bloom and her group hope to have added to a future Council agenda. All proceeds from admissions, refreshments and activities will provide seed money for future recreational activities in Lemon Grove.
“We are hopeful that Council will approve our proposal,” Bloom concluded. “It’s time to sweeten our city’s public discourse and share Lemon Grove’s bountiful attractions with others across our region.”
Happy April Fool's Day!